I am about to be 49. My birthday is in four days …. Facebook is reminding me and Farmers with a sparkling birthday pen.

My birthday used to be a big deal to me. In fact, I used to call it birthday month, you know stretch it out for as long as I could and I never worked on my birthday, always took the day off to spend as I wish. Now it really isn’t a big deal to me, although this year it is a Saturday, so work is safe at least.

With the speed that this year is flying by it has kind of snuck up on me. My multi-tasking brain is constantly filled with things to do every day - work schedules, the kids before and after school activities and trainings along with the normal household jobs and planning, so it’s not a surprise it is only lurking in the background of my mind.

I remember turning 21, the big party, the dress – black velvet with a red stain off the shoulder band. Drinking (legally) and dancing all night with family and friends, a great time was had by all.

I remember the day I turned 30. I had got married and had an 8-month-old child. I felt very grown up.

40 passed without much of a mention, I can’t even remember what I did. We’d been through 30 is the new 20 so now I was playing with 40 is the new 30.

I never thought about what 49 would look like until just now. I can rock out with the best of them, but only to the 80’s and 90’s jams and if I’m in bed by 9.30pm even better. This is 49.

I care less what other people think of what I say or do. My life is mine to choose how I live and enjoy. This is 49.

I try to act like I’m a cool or with-it mum by answering my 13-year-old son with “it’s all g” and joining in with “streaks” on Snapchat with his friends – thankfully it’s not what I thought it was. This is 49.

Sometimes, my mirror reflection surprises me. Fine lines and grey hairs, or strands of awesomeness as I call them have become a permanent fixture. I love my hairdresser and my beauty therapist that take my caterpillar eyebrows under control. This is 49.

I don’t feel like a grownup. I see, to be fair sometimes I don’t know what I see in the mirror, sometimes there’s bright eyes sometimes there’s big tired black rings. Last week I said to Maree, I need to be sharper. I never gave 49 much thought. The big 5-0 is the one that gets all the attention normally. What do people expect from 49-year olds? I’m supposed to make good decisions. I’m supposed to be responsible and mostly I am but there’s those weekends you get together with your girlfriends and suddenly your back in high school, giggling and sneaking drinks down the back field. This is 49.

I never thought what 49 looked like when I was younger either. Would it have looked like my life now? I’m not sure – life is good. It’s had moments of wonder. It’s had moments of crap. It’s surprised me and made me raise my eyebrows at times. And that’s okay because life constantly surprises us no matter what our age.

So, at 49 I will sing at the top of my lungs to my 80’s tunes and have a drink (cause I’m definitely legal now) and then start to ponder climbing the hill to 50. Bring it on <3 Kx